THE OLSEN GANG PLAYS FOR THE HIGH STAKES
- It's so great to see you. - We have missed you.
- But now all is well. - We have a surprise for you.
- Not yet. - You'll love it.
- Let's go to your place. - We've got nothing...
Leave it to me.
Yvonne had to get a job. Everything's gotten so expensive.
- You can't buy on tick anymore. - It's a credit squeeze.
- I have to make the food. - It's yucky!
- Borge, please. - How about the beer?
Three cold beers, please.
- Listen... - Yes, listen...
- We have a plan. - Everything is checked and timed.
Here you go. We made it ourselves.
- The bulldozer was my idea. - Go do your homework.
It ain't fair.
- What is this? - The new tobacconist is filthy rich.
- He's selling porn, too. - He's got hundreds of kroner.
- We start the operation at 5:45... - Lord have mercy!
It's a sure thing, Egon.
But, Egon, we've been looking forward to this.
How would you like to be millionaires?
- Well, maybe... - It's just that we need some cash.
- You could look at the tobacconist. - Then maybe you'd...
- Aren't you interested at all? - Well, you're the...
Are you just petty thieves? This is the caper of your lives.
Tobacconist! Well, then I'll do it on my own.
Don't get us wrong, Egon. We'd like to be millionaires, right?
- It never works. - Shut up. Egon has a plan.
- Of course. - Of course... What is it?
- I'll show you. - Bloody good, Egon.
Can you see what this is?
Is it...
- Is it a toilet cistern? - It looks like a picture puzzle.
Nonsense. It's the blueprint of an old German command bunker.
Can you see that X? A treasure is buried there.
Millions in gold bullion and British and American currency.
- Are you sure? - I gave a pack of cigarettes for this.
- Isn't it a bit dangerous? - No, nobody owns it.
It belonged to a German general who planned to escape to South America.
He had to leave it all behind. And it's still there for the taking.
- And we know where it is. - How about that, Keld?
- I don't know... - Don't you want to be a millionaire?
- But can we do it? - Sure, when Egon says so.
It's a piece of cake. And even legal. It's all planned. We leave tomorrow.
- Going where? - To Jutland.
- How about Yvonne? - The bunker is in Jutland.
But all the way to Jutland?
Are you going abroad? Honest to God, Keld...
Jutland? I don't care what country it is. You're not going!
What? Am I going? But I haven't got a thing to wear.
Come on.
Give me a break. This is too much.
- Do we really need this? - We can't just leave it behind.
We can't bring all this junk.
- Are you going to put up with this? - No, frankly, Egon...
- But damn it... - We bought it on the hire-purchase.
We're not going to throw it away. You'll have to leave without us.
Okay... Let's get another car, Benny.
A hunter went a-hunting
in the green, green woods
- I get a bit sentimental. - Pardon?
I've spent quite a few years there. But now I've seen the last of it.
- How far is it to Jutland? - We have to take the ferry too.
Then we'll have to buy cigarettes, chocolate and wine.
- How much tax-free can we get? - You can't shop on the ferry.
- Why not? - It's a domestic line.
Let's be thrifty now.
- Did we bring any money? - Don't worry.
We're going to hick country. I almost feel sorry for them.
We won't have any problems there.
- Fill it up, please. - I can't sell less than 5 Iitres.
I'm sorry to hear that. I always buy your brand.
I value the extra acceleration which is due to the Optimal Plus.
I have enjoyed its clean exhaust.
Not to mention the economy of your fantastic Economat-additive.
Do you really want me to go to your competitors?
What a sad thing.
- Economy or Super? - Super, please.
- That'll be 2.75 kroner, sir. - Could I have a receipt, please?
- Bloody good. - You should be ashamed.
But we prefer Shell.
Who is going to pay so we can have some fun
who is going to pay when all the money's gone?
We're there now!
- Where? - In Jutland. There's the bridge.
Bloody good.
Where are we? We've been driving for ages.
- Don't you have a map? - Have you got one, Borge?
See...
- We're right here. - Where's Copenhagen?
- There. - Where's Jutland, then?
- There. - That's not very far.
- Do we have far to go? - A bit further.
We'll need more gas then. But we'll just fool some hick.
No problem.
- Howdy. - Fill it up, please.
- You want Super, don't you? - Yes, please.
- And you want a receipt, too? - Yes, please...
Howdy.
You can fill this up when you're finished.
30 kroner for that spare. It's worth at least 50. That shitstick.
- I thought you said he was a hick. - Enough!
- Are you sure? - Yes, go on.
- Aren't we there soon? - We're out in the sticks.
- We're going all the way to the sea. - You've got to be kidding.
- Nobody's living out here. - There it is!
- Where? - There.
"To the beach."
All we have to do is find the bunker.
It's serial number 246/312-3.
- There're dollars and gold galore. - It's down at the beach.
Bloody good.
- Don't leave me. It's so scary. - Scary?
- It's so quiet. And the smell. - That's fresh air. Borge will stay.
Come on. Broads!
- Are we there soon? - We have to find the right bunker.
- Listen. - What's that?
- It sounds like a train. - It's the sea.
Don't feel bad, Egon. They probably tore the thing down.
- It's got to be here. - I want to go home.
We can hit that tobacconist. Maybe you've been ripped off.
Nonsense. I know it's here. Maybe this is not the right place.
Maybe it's just beyond the next bend. Let's go look.
- Are we going home now? - No! We'll move on.
That monster. Always yelling.
- Come and enjoy the sun. - I'd rather sit in the shade.
- I'm reading. - I wonder how Dad is doing.
- I can't go on. It's inhuman. - Let's take five.
Forget it!
There they are.
Come on, Benny. We're almost there.
Go on.
Put him down.
What's wrong, sweetie-pie? Are you hurt?
Are we millionaires again now?
- It's a bum deal, Egon. - It was the wrong place. Go on.
- These blisters need treatment. - You just have to cut them.
What's that?
- It's the valves and the cylinder. - So?
- So I was right. - What are you going to do about it?
- Me? - Aren't you the driver?
It's your responsibility. Fix it, and let's get going.
I'm waiting.
- I can't... - Do you refuse?
I need some spare parts. It's all because of Keld's old junk.
Don't talk like that about my home. We've lost everything. What now?
- It's all your fault, Egon. - My fault?
Yes, you and your plans. They never work.
No. And you know why?
Because I'm surrounded by amateurs, imbeciles and nitwits.
You have no stamina. Always complaining. Crybabies!
- Blisters! - Keld, help. I'm sick.
- Look at my nose. - That's terrible.
Call the doctor. It might be the plague.
"The human organism can survive several weeks of starvation."
"But it cannot do without water for more than three days at the most."
Someone's coming.
It's a tow truck.
- Yvonne, my love, we're saved. - Really?
Oh, and my face is a mess.
It's bloody good that you came. Our valves are kaput.
Exactly.
Where can we get something to eat?
It's on the level.
- Nice guy. - Wasn't he a little weird?
- The man is completely wacko. - Jutlanders are as good as we are.
It's not their fault they're Jutlanders.
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
- Hey, that was a tenner. - My mistake.
- You want a receipt? - That just serves to please the IRS.
Goodbye.
METALS AND SCRAP IRON
Take it easy. Go and get your work done.
- Howdy. So you've met Bad Ass. - Bad Ass?
- Oh, yes, he was kind enough to... - He's okay, but he can't speak.
He couldn't hurt a fly.
- How can I help you? - We just got in from Copenhagen.
- We've had a minor accident. - It's the valves and the cylinder.
- I can fix it myself. - You're quite an expert, eh?
- I just need some bits and pieces. - See if you can find something.
It won't cost you...
... much, anyway.
You're very kind.
We're really in the country now.
NO ENTRANCE
Excuse me.
- Those iron doors down there... - Do you want them?
- No, but where did you get them? - The old German bunkers.
Bunkers?
- Are there still some bunkers left? - Plenty.
They're scattered all over the beach.
- There they are. - Holy moley. Bloody good.
Yes, by God.
I found it!
I found it, by God!
It's right over there.
Bloody good, Egon.
- Can you forgive us? - Sure. Let's get the tools.
Let's not be hasty. We've got to calm down.
- This is the chance of a lifetime. - Bloody good, Egon.
We know that the treasure's out there. And it'll stay there till we get it.
We've got to give it time. We must not arouse suspicion.
We've got to mix with the locals. We've got to win their confidence.
- We need cash. We'll sell the car. - It's practically worthless.
- The scrap-iron guy won't notice. - That hick.
We'll have to buy supplies. Just the bare necessities.
And we'll need a place to stay. Just a modest little place.
We'll rent it for a week.
Welcome then.
A little to the left.
Left, you idiot.
Too much.
Stop!
- Bloody good. - Move, you idiot.
116, 117, 118, 119...
MILITARY INSTALLATION NO ENTRANCE
DANGER. DO NOT TOUCH!
Observation post Charlie. All is well here, Lieutenant.
Keep your eyes open. Do your duty.
- Is anything wrong? - This a dangerous area.
- Dangerous? - Yes, dangerous.
Here is the bunker. This is the original entrance.
And here's an underground passage leading to the ammunition depot.
And here is the command bunker where the treasure is hidden.
But all of this is below the heavily guarded military post.
Therefore, the only way in is the original entrance.
Let's see... The observation post was out there.
- It's got to be this way then. - Bloody good. Where do we dig?
Wait a minute. We've got to find the right door.
It's this way.
The entrance should be over there.
Egon!
You can help me up now. I've found the entrance.
It's all clear then. We've got to get some diving gear.
- But that's expensive. - Then we'll have to get some cash.
- Can't you understand that? - Nobody's got any money out here.
Nonsense. I know one who's got lots.
There it is. Hold the light. Talcum powder.
Gloves.
Stethoscope.
It's a Franz Jäger from Berlin. That old junk.
Leave it to me.
- Is it difficult? - Be quiet.
It wasn't even locked.
Garbage.
Let's get out of here.
Sit down, please.
- Rest your ass. - I prefer to stand.
- Have you hurt yourself? - Not at all.
Good.
I think that you can be trusted. I think that you can keep a secret.
- Of course. - Right.
I'd like to tell you about the German general's treasure.
Wow, it's totally flat. You're so smart, Mr. Bad... Baddie.
I don't know exactly where it is, but I'd like to look into it.
And since you clever experts from Copenhagen are here, -
- you might be interested in a little business proposition.
- But you're not interested? - Maybe.
We could split fifty-fifty. I'm ready to put up some cash.
If you need any.
And if you need some equipment, then I might have some.
I have a pump for it somewhere.
It just needs to be patched up.
Is it a diving suit? I thought it was a beach toy.
- Isn't diving dangerous? - It is, in that old piece of shit.
- You're not diving, Keld. - Keld is too big for the suit.
- And so am I. - I'll do it myself.
- Is Mads going to get 50% now? - No, we've got the advantage.
Only we know where the treasure is.
Merci.
- Hi, Carina. - Hi, Rico.
- That was smooth. - It's a tough business.
- You're getting older. - Interpol is on the case, too.
They don't know Hauerslev.
- What a dump. - Please. I was born here.
The seaside hotel is nice.
I checked us in as a couple. But don't get any ideas.
Your gear is right there.
Come in.
Thanks.
Come on out, Rico. You're still quick for your age.
- Are you sure there is a treasure? - Dad and the general were friends.
My father built the bunkers. We had to leave the country in 1945.
- Why haven't you picked it up? - I saved it for the hard times.
- You have hard times now? - I look foolish in hot pants.
- That's a problem in my line of work. - Why did you contact me?
I needed a man for the job. And you're hard up too, right?
You're wanted all over Europe. And you want to go to Miami.
- Rich wives and widows. - My speciality.
- But you need cash. - Right.
We'll split fifty-fifty. I got the equipment already.
- Christ. - You can't do it without me.
Only I know where the treasure is.
Hurry.
- Christ. - It looks different now.
- Are you sure it's here? - It's that one out there.
- Let's check it out. - If you insist.
I do.
- It's cold. - We're not in the Mediterranean.
- Can't you do it yourself? - No, that's why I brought you.
- You're in danger here, ma'am. - I can see that.
- Are you coming? - Go home and change.
- Then you can arrest me. - No, no. I just had to warn you.
- That I'm in danger? - Not here. But up there.
- And what have you got up there? - Military secrets.
How exciting.
Face right.
Attention.
Present arms.
- It's a beautiful view. Here. - Watch your hands, Major.
I'm just a lieutenant.
- I report nothing to report, sir.
- Pardon, sir? - Don't be stupid. Your cap.
An army couldn't function if everybody wore their caps backwards.
The officers wouldn't know what way their troops faced.
Dismissed.
- Wonderful view, isn't it? - Very interesting.
- You can see everything so clearly. - Yes, very.
Why is the area fenced in? Is that a military secret?
- If you can keep a secret... - I can keep a lot of secrets.
We suspect that there's quite a few unkown underground bunkers.
- Who knows what could be in them. - You're right.
- Give me the helmet. - We have to attach the water hose.
- It's an air hose. Did you hear that? - Stop that foolishness.
- No fooling around. Keep pumping. - Trust us, Egon.
Close it.
- Any requests before closing time? - Close it!
Bye, bye, Egon.
Help me, man.
Keep going.
- We're running out of hose. - What shall we do then?
Stop it, Egon. Stop.
Hold on to it. I knew it would go wrong!
Egon, come home.
Nitwits!
Benny! Egon!
- Explosives? - Yes. Bullets, mortars, and grenades.
We might be sitting smack on top of several tons of ammunition.
We haven't found all the depots. We don't know what's down there.
- Suddenly... - We'll never see him again.
The ammunition depot is right there.
Then the emplacement...
... should be right there.
Then the command bunker should be here...
Of course.
Oh, no...
He was a great man. One of the greatest.
- A great guy. - Torn away in the prime of his life.
- There was nothing I could do. - Why do the good guys always die?
Please stop it, Keld.
How can we go on without him? What'll become of us?
What the hell..?
- Egon? - Finally. Don't mess up my hat.
Get in the back.
GROCERY
Let's drop by the bakery. I promised Keld a slice cake.
- Everything is ready. - It's nice to have you back.
- I've located the treasure. - Let's get going then.
- No. - No, we got to think first.
We'll need explosives. The treasure is walled up.
- I'll fix it. - You?
My brother Dynamite Harry taught me. It's a piece of cake.
- It's a simple calculation and... - Let's find somebody else.
- Okay, Benny. But no mistakes. - Trust me.
We have to arrange our departure. It has to go unnoticed.
- Because of Madsen, you mean. - We don't want him to know.
That hick.
Hello, Mads One Penny.
You're the carter's little Karen.
- So you have returned. - I've been here a while already.
- You've changed a bit. - So have you.
You've become slimmer.
You think so?
- Visitors? I don't have visitors. - They were driving in your car.
- Oh, those gentlemen from the city. - What are they up to?
It's a team of experts. They pay me to help them.
And what do they pay you? The general's treasure?
Where did you get that idea?
Don't touch it, Bad Ass!
Nice car.
- Did you meet a rich man? - I've met several.
- So you're married? - No. And you?
- I'm too ugly. - Who makes your rissoles, then?
- Bad Ass. - Is he good at it?
It could be worse.
- Do you get it? - Bloody good, Egon.
- It's a stroke of genius. - Right. Nothing can go wrong.
- Except for the explosives bit. - Cool it. I know what I'm doing.
I'll get tickets for the plane. Benny, you get a car.
Make sure it's got a full tank. Keld, you get Yvonne ready to go.
And I mean ready. The operation starts at 12:15 tomorrow.
They look like a bunch of amateurs. So I guess they know something.
Maybe they have a blueprint. We could use that.
- You should get going. - I'm sick. It's so freezing cold.
One of them brought his wife. Quite a pretty woman.
But, Mr. Baddie... I don't know if I dare.
Should I? All right then.
Mr. Baddie... I feel exhilarated.
Married women are you speciality. Don't get rusty now.
How do you do, madam.
Are you a Jehova's Witness? We're not interested.
We're Social Democrats. And we always vote Conservative.
You're mistaken, madam. You look wonderful.
Oh, so that's it... We don't want to buy anything.
I don't want to wind up with a ten volume encyclopedia.
We can't bring it on the plane. We're leaving soon. Goodbye.
Hi.
- You like it? - Well...
- Do you want a ride? - Nah, I prefer a Mercedes.
Get in the car.
- Is that a real Browning? - You bet. And it's loaded.
- Am I really kidnapped now? - Shut up.
- What's the ransom? - Shut up, kid.
Sit down.
My folks are broke.
We are fifteen minutes late. Where have you been?
- I've been kidnapped. - You know I won't have it.
Kidnapped?
MILITARY INSTALLATION NO ENTRANCE
- And that's Grandad's sword. - Oh, the general.
No, my grandfather was a colonel. My great-grandfather was a general.
- He got that sword in 1848. - The battle at Isted Moor.
Well, my great grandfather was in charge of supplies.
Oh, gunpowder and bullets and that.
- There. Any idiot could do that. - Is that enough?
- It's probably more than enough. - I've dosed it.
The dosage is the most important. And now the detonators...
Then I'll show you how you knock down a concrete wall.
So one can get down in the bunker? That sounds very exciting.
- It's too dangerous. - I would feel safe in your company.
- Really? - Yes, just the two of us.
Officers are not allowed to take risks. It's so expensive to train new ones.
Is it that dangerous?
- Mon dieu! - His Majesty, the King!
- Bloody good. What a boom. - Is it all over now?
Let's check out the hole.
Benny, come here.
- What the hell..? - So much for your dosage.
I did just like Harry taught me.
Of course. What an idiot I am. It has to be a hollow charge.
- And maybe a bit bigger. - We'll use the rest of it.
No...
I request permission to evacuate. But Colonel, it's...
Yes, sir. I know my duty.
We'll fight to the last man. Over.
Help!
This is is too much. Lousy amateur. Bungler.
You incompetent shithead. You can't even blow a hole.
- I did like Harry taught me. - Shut up.
I'm fed up with your excuses and your stupid remarks.
- Let's go home. Yvonne is waiting. - Yvonne!
I've had to put up with your stupid private life.
I have to put up with your whining. I'm fed up. Totally fed up!
The poor child was kidnapped. We've had to put up with a lot.
- But when you hurt the kid... - It's not my fault.
- It's never happened before. - Shut up, you insane woman.
- Did you hear that, Keld? - Yvonne is not insane, Egon.
We haven't got the millions yet. Isn't that your fault either?
- If it wasn't for those idiots... - Right, just blame the others.
I know your type. You're just like my sister's husband.
- Say something. - Yvonne...
Don't defend him now. He got us into this mess.
I've had enough! I won't stand it anymore.
I'll leave you to your own devices. Get stuffed. Screw you.
And then he just leaves. He doesn't think about us at all.
You two nitwits can't do anything.
- Madsen, have you seen Egon? - Have you lost him?
- We just can't find him. - He borrowed a hammer and chisel.
I offered him the pneumatic riveter. Is something the matter?
- Not at all. - Where's my car?
You'll get it tomorrow. Goodbye.
Bad Ass, come here.
Egon!
Don't shoot!
How dare you, you filthy frog. I'll teach you a lesson.
Move.
Move, man.
- We'll get the pneumatic riveter. - You shouldn't do it all alone.
- Just tell us what to do. - You shouldn't sit there all alone.
You need a beer. We'll work hard.
We're friends.
- Can you forgive me? - Let's put it behind us.
- You saved my life. - No big deal.
You're true friends.
- I have treated you wrong. - You're a good guy.
I call you idiots and nitwits. And you are not.
And you're not lousy amateurs, or even yellow cowards.
You're my friends. You're brave, courageous, noble and intelligent.
- That's too much. - Not at all.
- I say a lot of stupid things. - And I get scared sometimes.
- Nonsense. - Yes, I do.
- I have my weaknesses too. - No, you don't.
- All right then. - Friends?
- We'll go ahead with the plan. - If we're united, no one can stop us.
- I get plane tickets. You get a car. - Full tank and all.
Keld, you get Yvonne ready. Let's get started.
- Come on. - Just a sec.
See?
- Come on. - It's out of gas.
- What? - I have some here.
Bloody good, Benny.
- Not again, 667 345. - But sir, I'd like to report...
10 kilometres punishment drill.
Let's get it started.
Call me at the hotel if you need me. We'll fight to the last man.
And that's you, 667 345. Dismissed.
What's this?
- Damn old junk. - Come on.
- How about some explosives? - No more explosions, please.
- What's that? - It's the shell.
- I saw a humongous shell. - Nonsense. Go on.
A double Scotch.
- Holy moley. - This is the place.
Bloody good, Egon. This old safe is a piece of cake.
- It's a Franz Jäger. - Get me the tools, Keld.
Where's Keld?
Keld, where are...
He's got shell shock. Get him up.
A suitcase full of bank notes and a box full of bullion.
- How long will he be in shock? - Come on. We're 7 minutes late.
Forward.
The other way, you moron.
Forward!
- Bloody good. - We're only 3 1/2 minutes late.
- What is this? - You're a millionaire now.
What are you doing in my car? Please get out.
- Damn it, Keld. It's us. - Stop that foul language.
Please get these two bums away from my table.
He's totally wacko.
Stop that foolishness.
I ought to call the police.
Nitwit!
Shithead!
- This is outrageous. - Let's do something. He'll get killed.
Lousy amateur. Coward.
You again? I told you to get out of my flat.
I'm sorry, old friend.
- Yvonne, we're here. - The plane leaves in 37 minutes.
Where is she?
Wake up, you twerp. Where is Yvonne?
- Isn't she here? - No. That was your responsibility.
- I hope she not hurt. - There he is.
- What about Yvonne? - Forget her. Get in.
- Off to the airport. - The plane leaves in 31 minutes.
- What about Yvonne and Borge? - They should have been there.
- We don't have any time to waste. - We can't leave without them.
Shut up. You're a millionaire now. You can get lots of broads.
- I won't leave without her. Stop. - No. Go on, Benny.
- What is it? - I can't believe it. No more gas.
- What? - We had a full tank.
Somebody must have drained it.
Mr. Baddie picked us up. But I kind of got lost.
Now you need a long rest, Daddy. You have worked so hard.
- Are we millionaires now? - Yes. Right?
We've got 13 minutes.
- Stop. We turn here. - Stop, you moron.
Mr. Baddie knows what he's doing.
You can keep all the money, and I'll content myself with the gold.
- I don't know about that. - Notes are easy to handle.
Gold is harder to convert. But I'm already into things like that.
All right then.
Goodbye. It was nice working with you.
Give Mr. Baddie my regards.
Hello, Mads One Penny.
- Are you still here, Karen? - I think I'll stay here.
I wouldn't want you to be lonely.
I attended a very fine domestic science school in Switzerland.
- Can you cook rissoles, then? - Sure.
- Put it in the car. - Do as he says.
Very nice. Goodbye.
- Rico... - Goodbye, Carina.
You know the rules. It's every man for himself.
Poor Rico.
- Give him some money for a ticket. - You're a big spender.
Yes, but I do great rissoles.
BANK
- That's your third piece. - But we're millionaires now.
- Do we have to pay tax? - Nobody knows we got the money.
- We're very rich, then. - Don't I get any?
Just a sec.
Take your pick.
It's just like Monopoly.
- What's keeping Egon? - The transaction can take a while.
- Borge! - Never mind.
Just because we're millionaires, we don't have to waste money.
I knew it. It's counterfeit.
I wonder if Mrs. Hansen remembered to water my plants.
It's nice to go home. There's no place like home.